Auld Lang Syne and Other Disasters
by whatariot
Summary: "It wasn't that she was scared per se, but she was unnerved." A companion to 'Unresolved Ordeal' but can be read independently. Some salty language.


_So this could be read as a sequel to Unresolved Ordeal (and will probably make the most sense that way) but it's not required. This was originally set to be a part of that story but I cut it because it didn't mesh well and with encouragement gave it its own story. It's got a slightly jumpier tone than I like but it seems to work somehow in this story. Enjoy. _

**I own nothing.**

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><p>Andy stood nervously in the room, fingers tapping on the painted cement block of the door frame. It wasn't that she was scared per se, but she was unnerved. Maybe it was all the hoops she had to jump through to get to this point, or maybe she was picking up on Sam's growing discontent, or maybe it was just the realization that she was actually going to go through with this. She was actually going to see Jamie Brennan face-to-face for the first time since he'd been frog-marched out of his Pickering farm house.<p>

At first she had thought she was doing this for Jerry, as sort of an extended favor to Traci but Brennan's timing soon made it mission critical. With his sudden refusal to talk the case against his former bosses was in jeopardy. His silence couldn't have come at a more inopportune time. The trial had started last week and as Jerry said, 'He had them over a barrel'. They had tried to fudge their way through with what he had begun to say but the defense had gotten recorded testimony thrown out because there was no real reason he couldn't testify in court. Jerry was furious. Sam was livid. Andy just understood. She didn't want to but she got it. Brennan had nothing left so he had no problem in leveraging his position for what he wanted, 'Over a barrel', indeed.

Sam's reaction to all this had been less than stellar really. Admittedly breaking it to him after an extended story in the car and finishing in between the broccoli and rutabagas wasn't her best move but the vehemence he'd shown had surprised her. He apologized of course but he still had serious reservations and was pretty vocal about his disagreement with her choice. He didn't hound her about it, though he tried for a few days, but he didn't miss an opportunity to chime in whenever the subject arose. She understood his concerns, she really did but he had this capacity to get her so stupidly angry it was only a few days before she'd had it.

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><p>It all started innocently enough. Sarah had arrived for her impromptu weekend only three weeks before Christmas and two weeks into their suspensions. After their initially awkward meeting Sam's sister was quickly won over by the copious amount of food, Andy's obvious effort and probably most importantly her nearly painful earnestness during Sarah's admittedly nosy questions. Did she mention the wine? The wine was good too. That Sam looked at his new girlfriend like she hung the moon even after she shoved him into a slushy snow bank was just something nice to tell her husband.<p>

Andy didn't really mind the questioning. Sarah was nice to her and seemed genuinely happy to see her brother attached to someone who wasn't a stripper. She also seemed to get a serious kick out of how they met, but if Andy were honest, who didn't? The snow bank incident, as it would be called until the end of time, was not her proudest moment but it certainly served to cement her in Sarah's mind as her brother's match.

Friday morning a slightly hungover Sarah and her extremely sober hosts were off for a greasy breakfast at their favorite greasy spoon. The sudden chirping of Sam's phone, a phone call and numerous scowls later, Sam cam back to the table with a serious chip on his shoulder. Andy had a solid guess as to who it was and what it was regarding because in typical Sam form, he wasn't going to share. Despite that however he had something to say about everything. He managed to have a running sarcastic commentary interspersed with nasty little comments functionally ruining their nice morning. He managed to retell the grocery store tale in an extremely unflattering way, implied she was an idiot for considering Jerry's request and then rolled his eyes at her suggestion of a Christmas gift for one of his nieces. When Andy excused herself to the restroom, if only to keep from dumping her breakfast in his lap, Sarah started in on him immediately.

"Seriously, who died and made you the King of the bastards this morning?" Sarah snapped, flicking a sugar packet at him irritably.

Childishly, Sam threw it back at her. "None of your business," he told her sulkily.

"Well being that I'm sitting in this booth while you use the girl you just last night professed marriage aspirations to, as target practice for your crappy attitude, it's just become my business," Sarah pointed out taking a large sip of her coffee.

"I never professed marriage aspirations," he began but Sarah cut him off.

"That's splitting hairs and you know it. You're lucky she hasn't dumped all the coffee from that carafe in your lap. You'd better shape up little brother," Sarah chastised, the disappointment in Sam plain to the average observer.

Still in a snit Sam waved for the bill and the waitress came running. Andy was back the the table by the time his credit card had been returned and he motioned them all to the exit. Andy looked longingly at her abandoned coffee and followed the unusually unpleasant Sam and glaring Sarah out the door.

As they walked across the wet pavement of the parking lot, Sam was decidedly quiet and the two women visibly relaxed until of course, he opened him mouth. Weeks later she would even laugh about it and it would enter into family lore forever. The last straw, however silly was just an inane comment. It was a single, normally harmless question which just put the topper on a truly terrible morning.

"Why so quiet, McNally?" Sam asked.

Andy whipped around to face him and on impulse shoved him as hard as she could.

Lucky for Sam the parking lot was nearly empty and her shove merely had him stumbling backwards. Unluckily for his pants, he happened to stumble over an uneven patch of ice and careen into a partially melted snow bank.

"You jackass!" Andy shouted at him as she watched him struggle to get out of the muddy, freezing pile of snow. "You have been awful all morning! I don't know what got into you but I can tell you one thing Sam, I will not be your scapegoat."

"Andy," he tried to begin rather pathetically but was cut off.

"No! No you do not get to apologize to me right now," she said beginning to walk away but halting next to Sarah. "I'm really sorry but I need to just go home and take a break from this," Andy said waving her arm in Sam's general direction while, still ignoring his bids for her attention.

"It's okay. I understand completely," Sarah said shooting a pointed glare at her brother as Andy walked away.

"Andy! Andy come back here! We're your ride home!" Sam yelled after her as he tried to pick the freezing soaked material away from his skin while he hobbled after her. A sharp, cold hit to the back of his head had him turning around, which is when the second slush ball hit him worryingly close to the face. "Sarah!"

Sarah just shrugged. "I think you've done enough damage for the day. Let's go before you manage to ruin someone else's day."

Sam just shook his head and watched Andy's figure retreat further away.

"She needs to cool off after your asinine behavior. If you love her, let her go," Sarah trailed off in a sing-song voice standing next to the passenger door.

"Well are you just a fucking fortune cookie," Sam snapped irritably unlocking the doors before driving home.

After that certifiable disaster of a day it took him eighteen hours to weasel back into Andy's good graces with some liberal "help" from Sarah. Sarah's version of help mainly consisted of telling Andy he was sulking and to forgive him already so he'd make dinner in between assaulting his ears with lectures in regard to his behavior. Food, an apology for his behavior and some raunchy makeup sex (after Sarah announced she had bought herself noise-cancelling headphones for Christmas) and things seemed to be relatively normal the rest of the weekend.

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><p>The call that had so disturbed Sam's peace of mind was from Jerry of all people. Concerned about his case he, in a move which Oliver told him was ill-advised, asked Sam when Andy would be coming in to go over the information she was supposed to get from Brennan. Only years of friendship kept Jerry cool as Sam completely lost it. Needless to say, Jerry didn't ask Sam about Andy's plans much after that. Sarah went home, ending her visit with an invitation to a Christmas party and a vague comment about a safety deposit box which left Sam rolling his eyes. While Andy felt no reason to hide that she was meeting with Brennan eventually, she didn't exactly announce her weekly discussions with Jerry. Jerry wisely kept silent as well remembering Sam's unpleasant reaction from before.<p>

The weeks passed quickly after that. Sam and Andy returned to work with little fanfare. Un-partnered they were each rotated out among the new rookies and seasoned officers, Frank clearly still in punishment mode given the sheer amount of scut work they were given. Traffic patrol seemed to be his favorite. Four days in a row returning to the barn frostbitten and deaf from the sheer amount of yelling by drivers and Andy was done. It just seemed to be the capper on an already bad day when Jerry pounced on her just outside the locker room.

"McNally!" he called out jogging over to her swiftly.

She was not in the mood for this. She just wanted Sam to drive her home and feed her, but she put on her company manners. "Yes?"

"I got that date for you," Jerry explained quietly. At her puzzled look he shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably gazing around the precinct, "You know, that meeting with Brennan, we have a date. It's December 31st in Kingston."

Andy sighed. Of course. Why wouldn't it be on a day when drunks littered the roads and there was a three hour drive between the prison and her bed. "Can you keep this to yourself for a bit longer?" she asked Jerry awkwardly and then felt the reason to explain. "I just don't want to drop this on him during Christmas," she said referencing the holiday beginning in a scant two days as Oliver had been reminding her of every single day. He had been run off his feet in gathering presents. He'd even commandeered part of Sam's locker for gift storage purposes.

Jerry nodded, albeit somewhat reluctantly. For a good detective he had a really crappy poker face. She bid him goodnight before trudging out to the parking lot where she knew Sam would be skulking.

The holidays passed as uneventfully as they could. The new couple had separated for the Christmas Eve dinners but were reunited for Christmas morning. Gifts were exchanged (A new joke book and a watch for Sam; A bag of her favorite candy, a necklace and a level of all things for Andy. He said he couldn't abide by any more drunkenly tilted photos on her walls. She knew he just lost his and was planning on "borrowing" this one as frequently as he could.) The holiday patrolling had increased rather than decreased but at least this was drunk-patrol rather than speed traps. Somehow in that time Andy neglected to share her meeting news.

She could have lied and said she forgot (she didn't) or that she didn't want to worry him (he worried anyway) but in all honesty, she just didn't want to deal with the fallout. He'd been a little over-protective after his kidnapping. Okay, he'd always been protective of her. He'd just never been overbearing about it and he didn't interfere with what she had to do up until this point. He seemed to lose all rationality when Brennan came into it. She got it, she really did but now she just wanted to put the past behind her and for her to do that, so did he. Taking the bull by the horns, or in this case the potentially irate boyfriend by the fear, she announced it at their shared breakfast on December thirtieth.

His reaction was surprising to say the least. More correctly, his lack of reaction was surprising. Oh she could see he was angry, the telltale tightening of the jaw and the sudden silent routine were a sure sign he was furious but the lack of outburst was somewhat unnerving. Going to work that morning he perhaps held her hand a bit tighter and kissed her goodbye a bit longer but the general calmness in his disposition was eerie. He maintained the façade for the rest of their shift and nearly made it home before announcing he would be driving her and Jerry could follow in his car or walk for all he cared. Discretion being the greater part of valor, Andy merely nodded.

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><p>So here they were now in some kind of holding room, like convicts being prepared for the guillotine. Sam stood tensely in a corner refusing to make small talk with Jerry who wasn't awesome at being shut-out. Andy merely tapped her fingers on the frame until the guard resurfaced. A quick "Follow me please" and they were off to another room. This time the room had a mirrored glass interior view to the interrogationcouncil meeting area. Strangely however, the windows were curtained.

"This is homey," Jerry quipped earning no recognition from the others in the room. "Okay, tough crowd."

Sam just rolled his eyes.

The guard merely pointed at the door. "You go in there. Someone is always going to be posted on the other side of the glass, armed. This meeting has been arranged with full audio so anyone in here may here everything. The prisoner has been informed it is not confidential and all conversations can and will be used against him in court. Do no make physical contact with the prisoner. Do not give the prisoner any goods…"

The list continued for a bit but Andy zoned mentally going over what she and Jerry had discussed. The guard motioning for her to enter had her hesitating and glancing at Sam. He hadn't protested her involvement but she had felt the lack of his support intensely. Feeling her gaze Sam met her eye-line for a moment of unbroken contact. As though feeling her uncertainty Sam's stiff pose softened, his eyes conveying rich meanings as he nodded and moved his hand in a forward motion. He may not have liked what she was doing but he would support her regardless. His, however reluctant, support gave her the push she needed to go through that door. The guard pulled the string which flung open the interior room to reveal none other than Jamie Brennan chained but seated at the center table. Taking a deep breath, she entered slowly.

Looking up at the open door, Jamie Brennan's face registered nothing but vague pleasure and a slightly more than passing interest. "Hello, Candace, or whatever your actual name is," he said, standing with strangely old-fashioned manners.

"Andy," she replied politely taking the seat across from him.

"Candace to Andy. Simple but clever. I can appreciate that," Brennan said with a nod as though waiting for her to begin. Nearly a full minute of power grabbing silence had him cracking first. "You've gotten better. When you were in my car you would have only gone for five or six seconds. It's part of what I found confusing about you," Brennan mused to himself.

"I'm not here to talk about me," Andy said curtly, impatient to move on.

"Actually you're here to talk about whatever I want to. That's the whole thing isn't it?" Brennan replied knowingly. "You were told to come in here and get my testimony or if you couldn't get that at least get a promise I will testify, am I correct?"

Andy had to give him credit for savvy. He certainly knew how to play them. She just nodded. No sense in lying, though she could practically feel Jerry flipping out.

"Well, your little detective friend doesn't have to worry. I'll testify. I have no reason not to. Those bastards would have turned on me the minute I turned my back," he said simply. "I was done with them. I was done with that life, you know? I was never supposed to go back."

With that Andy was confused. If he was going to testify why was she here anyway. "Yes, you poor murderer. If you were going to testify, why the hell did you need me?" she snapped at him, fed up with the games.

Jamie grinned unexpectedly. "Maggie would have liked you. She said you could spot an Irish girl by her spunk," noting her unsmiling face he continued. "I'm not a good man, Andy. I told you that in the car and I'll tell you now. I never deserved my Maggie or my daughter but I had them and they were taken away. Do you know what it's like to lose something like that?" he asked her in an agitated tone. "Of course you don't. You wouldn't know what it's like to have your family punished for your unforgivable sins. Maggie was my wife but more than that she was my conscience. I'd never had one before, and I'll never have one again but sometimes I feel glimmers of her…" he trailed off shaking his head.

Andy had to wonder if he meant another wife or another conscience. Somehow she think he meant the latter.

"I'm not a religious man by any stretch but if there is a hell I will be going. If there is a God, my family will not be there waiting for me. I will spend the rest of my life making that up to Maggie the only way I know how. You remind me of her so I think this is the beginning of the right path," Jamie said cryptically. "I'm sorry for what I did to JD. You should know his first thought was of you. He's a stand-up guy."

Andy looked on stunned, unsure of how to process this announcement. "Why did you need me?" she asked him curiously.

"Because I knew what JD would say, and it would be a series of four letter words in some interesting biology terms," Jamie said ruefully. "He's right to be angry but I'm not sorry I got the justice my girls needed. The justice I needed."

"That still doesn't explain why you needed me," Andy repeated. He was like talking to the Cheshire cat. She suspected it had as much to do with his required isolation as general emotional instability.

Jamie sighed. "I know what hate can do to a person. Don't let him turn his hatred of me into something ugly he carries with him. It will eat him alive. Maggie taught me that, now you need to teach him," Jamie said with a shrug. "I'm done now. You can go," he said motioning for the guard at the door to come get him.

Andy practically sputtered. "What about your testimony? I have questions!"

Jamie just shrugged again. "I told you, don't worry about the testimony. Isn't the detective behind the glass? Barber I said I'd testify. I'll testify. Happy?" he asked Andy sarcastically. "If you've got questions, put them in a letter. I'll respond when I feel like it."

Taking a deep breath Andy stood, and with a polite goodbye (and a repeat of his bizarrely old-fashioned manners) she was back in the observation room and shortly thereafter leaving the prison. Jerry had been happy enough. The case was no longer in jeopardy presuming Brennan kept his word. Andy was nearly positive he would. Sam however remained silent well into the drive.

Stewing it over, Andy stayed quiet for a good hour in to their trip. The quiet rhythm of the radio had her tapping her foot as she though over what Brennan said. Deciding it was now or never she took her usual 'blurt and go' approach. "He was right."

Sam merely looked at her sideways with raised eyebrows. "Pardon me?"

"I didn't expect to say this, but he was right. You can't keep nurturing that grudge."

Sam snorted. "Oh really?"

"Yes, really," Andy replied irritably. "What happened to you was awful. I would have taken your place if I could but it's like there's a presence between us. He's right. It's eating you alive and it's eating us alive," Andy said earnestly.

Sam was quiet for a long while after that. She let him stew and think. This was something he'd need to deal with one way or another and it might as well be today. Nearly an hour later she was startled when he finally spoke up. "It's not going to happen overnight," he said simply. "I hate him for what he did and I always will but the anger won't go away overnight."

"I know," she told him reassuringly.

"But I'll try," Sam told her glancing over quickly to try to make eye contact.

Andy smiled, "I know that too."

He took a deep breath. "I'll probably need your help sometimes," he said casting another furtive glance.

Andy smiled harder, "I'll try."

That earned a smile from Sam who reached over and grasped her hand in his. "So I hear it's New Year's Eve tonight," he said with a faux casualness.

"That's what I've been told," Andy replied back, playing the game.

"So are you going to accompany me to that party tonight?" Sam asked her as a tease.

"That depends, are you wearing a suit?" she asked.

"That could be arranged."

"Are you going to kiss me at midnight?" she asked playfully, again.

"That depends," he said turning the game back on her.

"On?"

"What you'll be doing next year," he teased earning a smirk and a slap to the shoulder.

"Let me get back to you on that," she laughed, noting their exit in three miles.

"The answer is me, McNally. Not a trick question," he said bringing her hand to his lips.

And what do you know, he was right.


End file.
